What is Self-Regulation?
When we talk about self-regulation in kids, we’re referring to the ability to maintain an arousal level that is appropriate for any given situation. Self-regulation also involves having the ability to generate appropriate behavioral and sensory responses to the input in the environment and the ability to demonstrate self control: to monitor and control behavior, attention, motor output, emotions, and social interactions.
Self-regulation examples might include a child maintaining his composure and problem-solving or asking for help when another child takes his toy or being able to recognize that he should keep his voice quiet in the library. Self regulation in the classroom or school might include a child being able to attend and stay at his desk while the teacher is talking or being able to stay with his class and walk in line in the hallway.
It sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? That’s because self-regulation is extremely complex. It involves cognition, the sensory systems, behavior…and so much more! Many children struggle with one or more of these areas, making self-regulation challenging.
How Can You Tell if Your Child is Struggling With Self-Regulation?
Kids who are having difficulty with self-regulation may:
-Act overly silly or “out of control”
-Have tantrums or meltdowns
–Struggle with transitions between activities
-Have difficulty waiting or taking turns
-Struggle with being in close proximity to others (e.g. circle time)
-Demonstrate problems during social interactions (e.g. talking too loud, standing too close, touching others)
-Have difficulty walking or waiting in line
-Move too quickly or with too much force
-Grab or touch objects impulsively
How to Help Kids Develop Self-Regulation
Even though self-regulation can be a challenging skill for many children, research has shown that games and fun activities can be effective in promoting the ability to self-regulate for children who are struggling.
Games and therapy tools that support planning and problem solving, memory, attention, motor control, and sequencing can help kids develop the ability to self-regulate despite challenging situations and circumstances. Calming techniques, self-awareness exercises, and mindfulness activities can also be effective in supporting the development of self-regulation.
The following 30 games and activities can be great ways to introduce self regulation strategies with kids! And if you’re looking for even more fun games and activities that teach academic concepts while working on skills like turn-taking, waiting, attention, and engagement – check out our book, Playful Learning Lab for Kids
Games and Activities for Self-Regulation
1 || Red Light, Green Light
2 || Simon says
4 || Duck Duck Goose
5 || Freeze tag
7 || Hide and seek
9 || Freeze dance
10 || Musical Chairs
13 || “Counting down” or anticipation activities (e.g. setting out a beanbag chair and helping the child wait by counting down – “3…2…1…JUMP!” and then jumping onto the bean bag chair. And then repeating the activity so the child knows to wait before jumping)
16 || Dancing – practice dancing fast and slow to different types of music
18 || Balloon volleyball
22 || Sequencing motor tasks (e.g. do 3 jumps, then 2 hops, then stand on one foot for 3 seconds)
26 || Guided meditation for kids
29 || Calming sensory strategies (school)
30 || Calming sensory activities (community outings)
Self-Regulation Strategies
Below, you’ll find some of our favorite self-regulation strategies to use at home, in therapy, or in the classroom. You’ll find lots of practical ideas that you can put into practice right away depending on your setting.
1 || These reset activities can help calm kids who are dealing with tantrums.
2 || Try these great calming techniques and transition strategies between activities throughout the day.
3 || Check out these 4 Surprising Ways to Support a Child’s Self-Regulation.
4 || These calming sensory strategies for the classroom can be great ways to support kids at school.
5 || Kids often have difficulty with self-regulation and arousal level at bedtime and naptime. These sensory-friendly sleep tips are great for kids who have trouble sleeping.
6 || Try these calming games and activities for outings where kids have to wait or transition in public places.
7 || These calming breathing techniques for kids are awesome for promoting calm behavior.
Self-Regulation Programs
These two programs are commonly used to address self-regulation with kids in various settings. Both child development resources have printable/tangible tools and fun lessons to give kids the skills they need to help themselves stay regulated throughout the day.
Books About Self-Regulation
1 || Self-Reg by Stuart Shanker
2 || Self-Regulation in the Classroom: Helping Students Learn How to Learn by Richard M. Cash Ed.D
Other Resources About Self-Regulation
1 || Developing Young Children’s Self-Regulation Through Everyday Experiences, National Association for the Education of Young Children. Ida Rose Florez
2 || Self-Regulation Excerpt from Child Development Principles and Perspectives, by J.L. Cook, G. Cook, 2009 edition, p. 352-355.
3 || Self-Regulation: A Cornerstone of Early Childhood Development. Linda Groves Gillespie and Nancy L. Seibel. National Association for the Education of Young Children.
4 || Executive Function & Self-Regulation. Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University.
5 || Discover the sense of interoception, a lesser known sensory system that can have a big impact on self-regulation.
What are your favorite therapy tools, games, and activities for supporting regulation in kids? Share them in the comments below!
Check out our DIY Calm Down Kit and these sensory ideas for calm kids on-the-go.
Want to learn more about the sensory systems and how sensory processing difficulties may be contributing to behavior and self-regulation problems in kids? Check out our book, Sensory Processing 101!
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What a great resource! Would Taboo be an activity to help self-regulating? Kids would have to refrain from saying the first things that come to their mind.
Hi Allie!
Love this idea! Taboo is a great game – and yes, a great challenge for kids to have to look at and remember the words that they’re not allowed to say! Thanks for this addition to our list!
Super collection of great ideas and fun activities.
I can see potential for them to be incorporated into PSHE / drama / language etc lessons for teens too. Thank you for sharing – I reposted on Twitter @CMCinSwitz
Do you have any references (ages) for when you expect certain self regulation aspects to emerge?
Hello! Thanks for your question! Stay tuned – we’re working on a post right now that will talk more about self-regulation skills and the development of self-regulation. Great question! :)
Great resource!
I’m a Play therapist and familiar with most, it will be a good additional resource to give parents :)
Thank you !
Teaching a kid is not easy and it’s much better when reading some tips or nice information about it! I’m playing Red Light , Green Light with my kids at home now!
Suggestions for older students (high school aged) who have not yet been taught strategies for self-regulation. What can be done in the home to assist with learning this necessary skill and what can be done outside of home?
We should try to “play” this games to get a better behavior. Thanks!
It will be a good additional resource to give parents. Teaching a kid is not easy . These are all super collection of great ideas and fun activities.I will must try some of these. Thanks for the sharing this with lots of information.
Hii ! no doubt it’s Very informative post. Well done on writing such a difficult topic in a way that is easy to understand. It makes these important facts available to all parents.
Great stuff, This is something I was looking from so long, but every time I ended up struggling with useless information. ! You have jotted down the information in an organized manner and I would like you to keep coming with such educational pieces over and over again.
And for adults? Poor regulation can arise from multiple causes either as a legacy from childhood or a response to events in adulthood (or both). Does anyone spécialisé in respectful but fun approaches with adults?